The Wedding Night
by Hg1996
Summary: Finnick fights the memories of his service in the Capitol as he faces an anxious Annie on their wedding night.


The Wedding Night

Finnick held the card key in his sweaty palm. His other hand held Annie's. She followed behind him giddily as they walked down the hall to their new room. He thought back to the evening. How she shown in Katniss's gown, how big her eyes got when she saw the cake Peeta made. Spinning her around the dance floor. The smile in her eyes as he kissed her as her husband for the first time. She was finally his. After all that had happened he still got to keep her, despite the nightmares and the shaking, despite what the capitol did to her, and in ways, to him. She was all his.

He found their new apartment at almost the end of the hall on the top level. He silently thanked Coin for the room with the small window to the outside. Annie loved the Sun and he knew she would want to wakeup to it. _Like she would wake up to him._ He shivered with joy at the thought of the sun shining down on them every morning. He opened the door and paused, sweeping her up and carrying her over the threshold. She giggled and planted a kiss on his cheek before he lied her down on the bed. The bed they would _share._

Finnick hadn't thought about their wedding night much. He was aware of what every other couple would do but things were so different for them. Annie was so damaged... He didn't know if she would want to, or if it had even crossed her mind. He wasn't even sure if _he _wanted to. He had bedded hundreds of women, but the thought of lying with his fragile virginal wife for the first time terrified him. She was so pure and he was soiled. _Dirty. _

"Well aren't you a dirty boy? Oh you're gonna make me feel so good... I've never had one so young before."

_Her hands were every where. He shut his eyes as her fingers clasped the width of him. Make it stop. Make it stop. She climbed on top of him, stroking the length of him and moving her hips suggestively._

"Why are you crying? I'll make you feel good. I thought you had done this before?"

"Finnick! Finn no, what's wrong? Don't cry... Please don't..." _Annie. _He turned around and clung to her, burying his face in her hair. He was upsetting her. She shouldn't see him like this. He took her thin hand in his and walked back to the bed, sitting her down beside him. He took her face in his hands, she looked at him intently, eyes full of fear and sorrow. He kissed her forehead and then pulled away, looking at her close up. She was so beautiful.

"Annie", he started, "Do you want to? Do you want to make love tonight?"

She looked at him furrowing her brow, He silently hoped she understood what he meant. "Isn't that what we're supposed to do?" She said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

"I don't know if it's a good idea", he said. Annie moved her face away from his, searching his eyes, and then crumpled into tears.

"Annie, sweetie", he whispered, taking her into his arms, "Whats wrong? What is it sweetie? Please don't cry..." He rocked her back and forth, cursing himself.

"You don't want me!" she sobbed, crying even harder. "I know I don't know anything, I'm nervous and scared, I'm too skinny, I have scars... I'm crazy! I don't know why you want me at all!" Finnick stared at her, surprised and sad. He had slept with every starlet in the Capitol yet he loved her. She was undoubtedly the most beautiful think he had ever seen, delicate with ocean eye. Why couldn't she see hoe much he adored her? They had never done more than kiss but he had thought about her that way many a time.

"Annie you are the most beautiful and appealing woman I have ever laid eyes on", he started, "I have loved you since the day they pulled you out of the arena. _I'm _scared. I'm terrified. I don't deserve you because I'm dirty and broken and you're pure and lovely. I wake up at night crying like a little child because of what _he _made me do. You've seen it. They say you're mad, but sometimes I feel myself slipping, and when they had you I really was mad. I am _nothing _without you, nothing at all. That's why I'm scared. I've never done this before with someone I... loved." A single tear slid down his cheek, he shook all over. Annie looked at him intently, he wondered if she would ever stop, and then she kissed him. Not her usual gentle kiss, but one with all the intensity and passion she felt. A kiss to try and make him _understand._

"You aren't dirty Finn", she whispered against his lips, "_They _are. And I want you. I want to make you understand that you're good, that you're the best man there is. I want you to see that it doesn't have to be like that. I'm scared, but I've thought about this. I'm lucid, I swear it. I want to be with you in every way I can, always."

"Always", he said, reaching for her and seizing her lips. He led her to her feet and broke the kiss, moving behind her. He kissed her neck, her shoulders, and unzipped her dress. It fell in a puddle on the floor. He walked around to face her, leading her out of it. She looked up at him, clad only in thin panties, and pushed off his suit jacket. She untucked his shirt and started unbuttoning it, kissing each new section of skin that emerged. He ran his hands through her hair, taking her in. he helped her take off his pants and then stopped, looking at her. He could tell he was making her nervous so he led her to the bed.

"Please let me look at you. I just want to look at you first. I don't want to miss a thing", he pleaded. If she was perturbed by his inquiry she didn't show it. She nodded steadily and let him guide her into a lying position. He ran his hand down her chest, pausing at her right nipple. He tentatively rubbed his finger and thumb on it, looking at her to gauge her reaction. He leaned down toward her small breasts and took her nipple in house mouth. His eyes widened as she arched her back, gasping. He moved to her other breast and then trailed kisses down her stomach. He looked back up at her and kissed the scars on her wrists from the shackles in the capitol, then the scars on her stomach. He refused to let himself think of what caused them. He moved his hands down, tugging at the hem of her panties. He looked at her, waiting for her to stop him, and then slowly pulled them off her legs. He experimentally ran his fingers between her legs, then between her folds, surprised by the wetness he found. Annie let out a little moan and he gently applied pressure to her opening, alarmed by how tight it was. He knew he would hurt her. He put the thought away and trailed his hands down her thin legs. He moved back up her chest, and then caressed her face.

" I do declare that there is not a part of you that is not beautiful", he said, leaning down to kiss her.

"My turn", she said. He balked, but then quickly removed his briefs before she could see his fear. He returned to the bed, straddling her. Her eyes widened and she looked at him in surprise.

"It's big", she said, then more cautiously, "Can I touch?" His stomach lurched but he nodded anyway. She cautiously stroked him, keeping an eye on his face. He felt him harden in her hands and saw her moth open slightly in wonder. She rubbed the length of him, and to his joy it didn't feel like _them._ He closed his eyes and let out a small moan.

He looked at her, "Are you ready?" She nodded with surprising confidence.

"Annie", he began, "It's going to hurt at first. Maybe a lot, I don't know. I'll wait until you get used to it and if you want to we can stop." She swallowed hard and looked up at him. He didn't want to hurt her. "We can stop here, Annie", he pleaded.

She looked up at him, determined, "I'm ready Finnick. I trust you." He sighed and rolled off of her. He spread her legs farther apart and then straddled her again, lowering himself with his weight on his elbows. He used his hand to guide himself to her opening and hen pushed in barely. He saw her eyes widen and continued. She was so tight. He felt resistance but kept going, feeling her break underneath him. Tears sprung to her eyes and she whimpered softly.

Finnick closed his eyes, hating himself. "I'm sorry Annie, I wish it could hurt me instead of you. The worst is over." She nodded as the tears began to fall. He stayed completely still, stroking her face and whispering comfort against her parted lips. When she quieted he began to move slowly, in and out. He wanted to pound into her so bad but he held his rhythm as she got used to it. She reached up and wrapped her hands in his hair, seemingly urging him on. He gained speed and felt her hips start to move with him. He used one hand to rub her most sensitive spot, just above where he was in her and watched and she arched in response. He kept at his rhythm watching her eyes close in pleasure. Finally, when he couldn't hold on any longer, he came, shaking all over and crying out. After ward he collapsed on top of her, exhausted. He slowly pulled out of her, grimacing as she winced. He wished he could have made her come with him, but assumed she would be in too much pain. He rolled to her right and looked down at himself. His length was covered with his own seed, and blood.

"I'm sorry", he exhaled, "I'm so, so sorry." His heart broke as she broke into earnest tears. _He _had done this to her.

"I know Annie, I tried to make it not hurt baby." He gathered her head to him and let her tears wet his chest. He knew it would only get better but it made him sick to know he had hurt her.

"It's okay Finnick", she mumbled against him, "That's not why I'm... it's just, you liked me. And we're married, and I love you, and it didn't make you sick like the others. I was scared it would remind you... but you're okay and I just love you so much."

He kissed her hair and held her. In that moment she eclipsed all else, she was all he saw, all he felt. Snow didn't exist, there was no hunger games, no pain, no rebellion, just his damaged, fragile, wife crying happy tears on his chest. Making him whole again.


End file.
